In the midst of an argument I lash out at my partner, but deep down I feel extremely hurt.

I shut down when our conflict gets too intense–I go numb and escape within myself

I am hypervigilant about my partner’s body language, facial cues, and changes in tone of voice–I’m frequently trying to read the room

I experience intense fear of abandonment/rejection and will people- please, sabotage opportunities for connection, or have an unquenchable thirst for affirmation from my partner

I have difficulty trusting my partner even if they gave me no reason to doubt them

It is common for us to escalate from 0 to 80 in a matter of moments

I avoid vulnerability in my relationship by lashing out with anger or building walls that make my deeper emotions inaccessible to my partner

My reactions can seem disproportionate to the situation

My partner and I tend to have the same recurring themes in our conflicts

I struggle with having healthy boundaries. I either have extremely rigid boundaries making me inaccessible or I enmesh with my partner

I feel lonely in my relationship

I question if I am lovable and will experience intense shame spirals

I feel like I can’t think clearly in an argument and say things I wish I could take back

I experience catastrophic thoughts about our relationship, especially in the midst of tension or conflict

I sometimes engage is self-sabotaging behaviors that negatively impact my relationship

I notice myself pushing my partner away or creating unnecessary drama

I either depend on my partner too much for me to feel emotionally okay or I am incredibly independent and only trust myself. Interdependence feels foreign to me.

I often feel anxious about my partner leaving without clear reasons